Fuck Your Money

fuck your money

I get between 3 and 10 phone calls a day asking about repaying credit card, student loan, and contractual debts. At times I answer and see if I can make the interaction at least interesting, if not humorous between us. I think its funny, that I’m the only one who ever answers my phone, yet they want to confirm that my address and identity are the same as it was yesterday. I quit answering unless I am in a mood of entertaining or experimenting. Lately, I’ve been answering, and when they ask for me, I say hold on a minute, put them on speaker, and allow them to listen to my music, video, or toddler babble. I figure it’s the least I can do for them. I’m sure their job sucks so any help killing time on the phone is greatly appreciated. It would just be depressing to speak with me about money I don’t have. I’ve asked if they would hire me, tho admittedly, I do not consider debt callers a real job. If people had the money to pay back, and felt obliged to do so, the debt callers job would dissolve. I think another idea would be to invite the caller specifically to invest in whatever new project I have so I could make more money and give it back. Theres’ got to be some debt rider I could convince…

It excited me to hear all the talk about the fiscal cliff… for a multitude of reasons. I mean, what is money but an agreement between peoples tying them together through services and resources. Unfortunately, the printers and regulators of “the money system” have centralized and absorbed much of the energy control systems resources. Not to crack open a can of… wormholes, which, money, really is, lets just say I have a dismal distain for the dismal science. And although I am almost always up for a good discussion on energy control systems and bio-survival tickets (Robert Anton Wilson), unless one is willing to let go of basic economic assumptions, it could be pointless.

Before I delve into details, I want to point out the bias. I understand that I am an able-bodied, intelligent (enough), educated, white male, with no felony charges, in the richest country in the history of reality. I understand that many people the world over struggle for clean water, decent food, warmth, housing, and live off of less than 2 United (states) tickets (I prefer to call fed notes tickets) a day. So, while I may share thoughts on circumstances of perceived struggle, I realize many in other circumstances would really appreciate the level of privilege I have personally as well as we enjoy generally in this country. That being said….

I feel like I am constantly walking along the edge of a fiscal cliff with one foot on the seemingly steady ground of grabbing tickets and the other on the constantly shifting loose sands of ticket takers. There are the systematic routines of paychecks towards rent, bills, and food, and then the less regular (but still almost predictable) routines of house, car, and career maintenance. I don’t have a career, but I like to pretend that my hobbies, oddjobs, and degree, are my career. You get the point right? You can fill in the blanks of my itemized budget. If the general notion rings true, and most people live from paycheck to paycheck, then indeed, most of us straddle a fiscal cliff. I find it not only disempowering, but depressing, disenheartening, and I’m sure theres a dozen other feelings that start with dis, I could name.

Its fascinating to think about corporate giantism, health, economy, pollution, and the industries that got bailed out. Bail the banks? The people and institutions that make money off of money, the bookies and dealers need better odds at the casino? It just seems absurd. The auto industry as well? Automobiles will be our coffins. We are sacrificing the future so we can feed a decaying present. Of course people need to contribute and a livelihood, but back at the auto factory…? And the auto jobs helped swing the re-election? I’m not trying to write an essay about these topics, it just trips me up. Automobile industry and its culture is a suicide pact.

I consider myself underemployed, though anyone doing statistics or asking me for debt probably feels the same way. I am seeking professional work, through whatever sites I can find. I do however prefer to do something rewarding and engaging that will utilize my powers, but I am open for many different things and spend time scouring employment sites, as well as turn in resumes to places that sound promising. Seldom does anything turn up. I make drinks at a local indy coffee shop, do odd graphic design and sewing jobs, as well as assist for an artist, doing graphics work mostly. My hours are somewhat limited because they are intertwined with a partner who works and a baby…but if I could find decent work, I would retire as Mr. Mom and allow mom to assume that role.

On that note, I have to admit, tho I owe more money than I can calculate, I do find it best that I am able to raise my child rather than someone else. She is of course getting older, and I could find time even with a “real job” but I do feel that there is no one better to raise my kid than me. I should probably raise some other kids as well…I just need a space and some funding…

I think its that idea of a real job I find most taunting. You know, something professional, where like my studies and ideas are taken seriously. I mean, I guess I should have thought about getting a job before I got a degree in cultural anthropology… yet theres not many businesses I feel like have any decent work to offer as it is even. This complicates the frustration. While we need tickets to play the games and ride the rides at the carnival, the carnival itself is a carnal, carnivorous, incarnation of carnage.  There is no righteous Empire. There is no equality with billionaires. Too big to fail is the self-calming whispered chant of a wounded Leviathan.

Back to job hunting…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *